It's been a while

It's been a really long time since I've posted last. One of the reasons that I am not so good at blogging is keeping up with it! Shortly after we got our good news of being licensed foster parents we found out we were going to have another precious blessing (in my womb)!
I am now only 8 weeks away from delivery and we are having a baby girl.  It's been 8 months since we have been licensed foster-adopt.  We currently aren't seeking to have kids placed except those who's parents rights have already been terminated that way we can just go right into adoption.   We've been getting lots of inservice trainings in and learning what we can! It's neat to sit around seasoned foster parents and learn all we can!
Last week we got a call from our agency! They have a baby that is in the state's care that they are looking for an adoptive family to adopt! We were SO excited to get the call! But now we have to just sit back and wait! We sent in our homestudy and the people deciding who his parents will be will review all homestudies of adoptive families that are interested in becoming his parents! There could be anywhere from 10-30 homestudies sent in! Then they will chose 5 families out of those 10-30 homestudies that they feel would be a best fit for this little man! So we are still waiting to hear if we were one of the 5 families chosen! It's all in God's hands! We may be chosen we may not be! Just learning about this sweet baby makes me so easily fall in love! I wish I could just go and get him now and become his forever family! But that is yet another thing that is not in my control! It's hard, really hard to know that God has placed this calling to adopt on your life.. to pursue it and just have to be patient and wait! To know there is a baby or a child out there that is your son but not be able to hold him, kiss him, snuggle him and give him your love like you do with the rest of your children! To pray for him, for his safety that wherever he may be that God would protect him! So this could be the little one God has for us or it could not be! It's hard to be patient and wait and just not know! Not know the plans of the Lord! I'm trying to not get my hopes up.. but it is.... SO ..... hard! I know we have another little one on the way and I am extremely excited to hold her, kiss her, and love on her! But at the same time there is a HUGE spot for adoption in my heart! I can't even describe it! I just know that God has big plans! The beginning of this year I felt the Lord speak to me that He was going to do some pretty awesome things in our lives this year! He has done some pretty awesome things... but I just can't help but wonder if giving us "twins" is in those big awesome plans!!!!!!
So now I will be patient as I wait to get a call and hear to see whether we get an interview or if we don't! I know that either way God has this baby's best in mind and He ultimately know's what is best! SO I will sit back and rest in the peace of knowing that He know's what He's doing and learn patience in this season that he is obviously trying to teach me patience! It's SO hard to wait though......... but patiently I will wait!
Today that song came to my mind from fireprooof!.... While I'm waiting.. !
:) Have a blessed week you all and I can't wait to share with you next what the Lord will do! :)

We are officially licensed for foster care!!!!

This week I am beyond excited! Almost 2 weeks ago we found out an amazing surprise... which I'll share with you next week! :-) Then Monday we found out that we are licensed for foster care!!!!!!

God has been doing some amazing things in our lives! My dh went with our Pastor to AG District in Indy the 17th and 18th. My dh came back refreshed, blessed, and excited for what God has in store! I was so blessed that he was able to go and get his socks blessed off!! :-) He came home and shared with me that he feels like we are in preperation for the mission field for Africa specifically! Okay I have to back it up a minute because I know I totally lost you (if anyone is reading, lol). My husband and I got married 6 days after I graduated from High School to then a month later move down to Pensacola, FL to attend bible college to pursue what God had for us! We knew shortly after actually it may have been before that we were called to missions. We were unsure where so we prayed, sought God and he showed us! He told us the name Zambia! At the time my dh shared with me that this is where God spoke to him and told us where we were called.. and we actually had to get out a map and question.. are you sure God there is a place called Zambia! Because we had never heard of it before! Well sure enough we opened up a map.. and saw that Zambia is in Africa just south of the Congo! Anyways within a week I was reading a missions magazine and there was an article about Zambia! I continued reading and found out that over 80% of the population is 16 and under because of the Aids crisis.. and that most children are raising children! If you know me at all you know I LOVE kids... they are my passion! Immediately I felt a confirmation in my spirt! Well for the last 5 years we have not really put off that calling we really believe that everything we have done up until this point has been preparation! We kept praying saying Lord whenever you tell us it's time we are willing to Go! After having small children of our own too there are a lot of things that I've definitely been more paranoid about. lol. And so I though well Lord that's great send us when were like 45 after our babies are grown maybe like Heidi baker! I love that woman by the way! She is SO inspiring and I can see Jesus all over her!!! aaahhh. Anyways so my dh came home and said babe I feel like we are supposed to start preparing! I knew instantly that we were and even though it might be a few years down the line till we are there we are supposed to start getting things ready for that season! I was beyond excited yet scared at the same time! Mostly because I felt Lord.. how am I going to do this! Raise these 3 babies, and (?) and (?) and (?) and do (?) and all while homeschooling them, taking care of what you've given me and still loving the motherless of Africa! Did you notice the "I" in there! lol. But it's him that's going to be doing it! I know without a doubt that He is going to use us! And I'm so excited to continue now to be emptied out of myself so that I can be an open vessel and He can use me!!!

As of now I don't know what this next year holds! I don't know why we went through this foster care journey if he didn't intend for us to adopt! I think we still are going too! I'm really really excited to see what he has in store for us over the next year!!!! I am SO ready to be doing everything I was created to do! He is an AMAZING Father who has blessed us over and over again.. he has never failed us.. not once!!!! I am also excited to see what is in store!!! His presence is so near right now! I love this season of complete Joy and just feeling and hearing him! It is good! HE alone is good!!!!!

"You are the Lord the famous one, famous one, GREAT is your name in all the earth! The heavens declare you are glorious, glorious, GREAT is your name in all the earth!!!"

Thank you Father for what you are about to do! Thank you for your presence, for who you are Jesus! You amaze us time and time again! Though we are no where near perfect and we fail you time and time again... you are such a loving gracious dad! You pick us up and you restore us, fulfill us and bring us Joy! You amaze me!!!! Father I am ready to be that open vessel! Rip out everything in me that doesn't please you and fill me with yourself! Help people to not see me when they look at me help your presence to be so strong in our lives and home that when people are around us their lives are changed.. not by religion... but by YOU!!!!! I love you So much Father!! I am in awe of your beauty! And I'm forever changed at your feet!

Love yours always,

Your beloved daughter!!!!!

posted April 2012- It's awesome how we are seeing God's plans and preperation for the mission field unfold!  We are so excited to be used by the Lord to fulfill His purposes for Him at this time.. and we know that at some point in our lives we will be ministering over seas! :) 

One More Week

So I haven't updated my blog in a while. There isn't a whole lot to update on concerning our foster/adoption journey. We are kind of in a waiting process. We are waiting to have a home visit. After that home visit then all of our paperwork will be sent to state and then shortly after we will hopefully be receiving our license! I have been anxiously awaiting this! We were hoping to get this done weeks ago but due to some staff being out of the office we had to wait three weeks! So here I sit waiting patiently waiting and wondering how our lives will change over the next year! It is a really exciting adventure!  (or longer lol.. I have to look and laugh at how our plans were completely different than the Lords!)
There are days when I wonder why has God called me to this. Not because I don't want to... but because I feel like I fall short in parenting so many times. Why God are you going to in trust me with the life of another child when I sometimes don't have patience for the ones you have given me. Most of all I realize once again that I can't be a good mother, wife, really anything with out his strength! It's when I fall short that his strength shines. It's at the point like right now after trying to "keep" it together for so long with out leaning on him. That I give up and realize I need Him SO much. That I truly am a failure without him! He is what makes me who I am! He is my beautiful you! And I can't do it without his strength and his strength alone.
So as we get a little bit closer to this Journey. I realize that I am going to stop neglecting our time our quiet moments spent together because I won't survive unless I am leaning Solly on him. I can't do it in my own strength! I am opening up allowing him to use me now I need to lean on My Jesus!

Our Journey begins!

BEGINNING OUR JOURNEY!"For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

So we have finally gotten everything done so that we can become foster parents! All our paperwork is in, physicals are done, TB tests are done, CPR/Fist Aid and Universal Precautions class was last night! We just have another home visit and then all of our stuff will be sent into the state for processing! I am so excited to have our journey begin! I can't wait to meet the child that God has for us to care for! Monday we went out and traded our gas hog Durango in for a beautiful mini-van! Never thought I would want a mini-van and my husband REALLY didn't want a mini-van BUT he loves it!! I am so excited about this season in our lives!

It seems like everything is happening SO fast! We answered the call with, "YES LORD." We began our classes, got everything finished up except one home visit, the Lord blessed us with an incredible vehicle that we were able to pay with cash in! Which means that we have NO car payment! Everything is falling into place and we are SO thrilled to meet our son! We took Dave Ramsey classes and so we are through the beginning steps and we just love the advice he gave about vehicles and were thrilled to put our learning into practice!

My husband is constantly reminding me every time I lack trust... Has God ever failed us? And I can say 100% of the time he has NOT ever failed us! He is so good and continues to bless our lives! I am so grateful for everything he has done and everything he is about to do!

I hope to be better with this blog than I was last time I tried blogging ;-)