A year of learning; One year serving in Zambia.

Things we’ve learned about ourselves and living in another culture while in Zambia:

We are way more flawed yet way more loved than we ever thought possible.

When we are at the end of our rope his grace is perfectly sufficient.

There is so much beauty in the uncomfortable.

There is value in sitting with the lonely and broken.  In the midst of this sitting you will realize the depth of our own brokenness and find beauty in our own ashes.

That there IS beauty from ashes.  I’ve always heard this and never fully grasped what it meant.  Zambia, oh Zambia; you have taught me well. 

We have to praise him even when circumstances around us tell us he isn’t good.  It’s at the core of KNOWING that he is good and we will choose to worship.  (Climbing the mountain with open hands--- holding onto nothing.)

He is capable of carrying us, even when we are like that two-year old child kicking and screaming the entire way.  What a gentle and kind father we have.  Slow to anger and abounding in love.

The most important thing we could possible do is speak when he says speak and shut up and get out of the way when he says get out of the way.

Being still is about so much more than being still.  It is about an inner peace of knowing he IS God and is working. Trusting his entire plan.  Through storms. Through joy.  Through moments of being unsettled. Through questioning.  Through doubt.  It’s a deep knowing and trusting that HE IS who he says he is.  That he is good even when circumstances around us don’t make us feel like he is good.  

When the only thing left to do is be still and pray; He absolutely fights the battle.  HE brings JUSTICE.   HE loves loves loves children.  He loves the fatherless and vulnerable. Oh how he loves them.

This theme of HE is faithful, HE is constant, HE is trustworthy continues in our lives. 

He REALLY does work every situation for the good of those that love him and are called according to his purpose.  Even situations we wouldn’t put ourselves in.  Situations that HE wouldn’t put us in but is with us to walk through.  BUT works every single situation for our good.

That IT is absolutely normal to want to quit to even THINK about wanting to run away and quit.  THE important thing is that YOU DO NOT quit.  Perseverance at it’s finest. 

That when it feels like everything is falling apart and we are completely at the end of ourselves.  THAT is when GREAT things start to happen.

Learning to open up our grasp on what WE think our DREAMS are.  They are our dreams because he gave them to us in the first place.  HOW they unfold.  What they look like may be completely different than we ever thought.  That is perfectly OKAY.  (Remember HE writes the VERY BEST STORIES.)

That Mother Teresa said it best, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”   This quote has taken on a whole new meaning in my life.  This year this quote took on a whole new meaning.  Zambia. What you have taught us.  Zambia has reminded me of how much my FIRST ministry is my own home.  Zambia has reminded me again and again the IMPORTANCE of the family unit.  WHY God designed children to be in FAMILIES and NOT institutions.  WHY Family is so important.  It has brought so much not only full circle in my mind but also confirmed the things I have felt so passionately about. 

This time has showed us all how LITTLE patience we are choosing to use.   How much more we need to take that free fruit that’s readily available.  It’s not about attaining.   I’m reminded that the fruits of the spirit; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control are GIFTS so readily available for us to grasp.  HE paid the ultimate price of the cross so we can take and USE these beautiful fruits to make our lives a whole LOT sweeter.  HOW often do we use them? How often do we make excuses not to?  In my own life I’ve made excuses, “I’m just not patient.” Or “That person really deserved …”   Really the truth is we have access to these beautiful fruits and have to choose DAILY to take hold of them and USE them.  Our lives will be a whole lot sweeter when we do.

That God surely is NOT in this little box we put him in.  OH guys, if we could ONLY grasp how much he is NOT even in a box.  

That every single culture is such a beautiful display of a piece of the heart of who God is.  That we can see him a lot more beautifully when we allow our scope of diversity to open.   That diversity really does make the world beautiful.  I am so thankful the Lord placed us in Lusaka vs Mongu. We would have never experienced such beauty.  Guys we need each other.  Stop the wars and embrace our differences.

That maybe the issue isn’t being or feeling “used” or “taken advantage of” as much as it is being willing to live with an open hand and give freely and generously.   Are we giving more than we are expecting something in return? 

We are responsible for only how we act and respond.  Not the response or actions of others.

Just because things are done differently DOES NOT make them wrong.  Even when every part of us feels that they are.    

A new depth of what unconditional love looks like.  No words. 

Little smiles. Holding hands.  Watching faces light up when they believe they are fully loved and excepted and finally believe that they are the GEM you've been telling them they are.  OH the beauty.  

How much we do that hurts more than helps.  Even in our very best intentions. 

 

What community in essence really looks like.  The beauty that comes from it.  It was so amazing to experience a deeper level of community through this beautiful team we hosted.  Who so graciously welcomed our little family right into their tight nit community.  Our children were so absolutely loved on.  We each were and were able to love in return.   It was beautiful.  

 Also time experiencing being SO welcomed into a community here in Zambia.  People who are a phone call away knowing they have our backs and are on their knees. Close by.   To pray with us.  To let us scream a few **choice words** (or many) with no judgement (mom read past that one if you are reading this).   This beautiful community that he is building here in Zambia.  I have a loss for words.  Our hearts are full.    When you wander into the unknown I have to admit it is scary not knowing when you leave your tight nit community across an ocean.  BUT GOD, OH GOD… does he provide.   I could sing of his faithfulness.  Steady and unending.  While we miss our community an ocean away.  This season oh what a beautiful community the Lord has provided.  Wow, the things we are learning from each other.  Breath taking beautiful.

“God (absolutely) NEVER wastes a hurt if we allow him to write our stories.”- Nate Saint

     While we have to admit there has been times of such uncertainty.  Wondering what in the world we willingly “got ourselves into.”  Tears and tears of not knowing the outcomes of circumstances and situations beyond our control.  Things being way different than we would have willingly walked into.  What WE would have missed if we wouldn’t have went ALL IN.  If we wouldn’t have been willing to get out of the boat.  Just like Peter there are times that we completely feel undone and unworthy.  We are reminded to gently, “fix our eyes” on him.  Friends, he does carry us.  He will carry you.  Could it be that all along when everything that you felt so alone in.  That he was there.  Right with you.  Feeling the pain.  Holding your hand.  That as in that poem that is so beautiful, he was carrying you when you saw only one set of foot prints.  YOU are never alone.  WE are never alone. 

If you search for me with your WHOLE heart…. YOU WILL find me. -Jeremiah 29:13

My heart will never be able to express the gratitude to every family member, friend and even stranger who came along side of our family to serve over this last year.  It simply would have been impossible to be here living and serving.  The encouragement from friends from far through a video chat, fb message and email.  Listening. Praying. Encouraging.  We simply couldn't have done it without you.  Thank you for walking this road with us.  Thank you for being a part of our growth.  We are humbled. 

                                    

                                                         Continuing to serve together,

 

(and family) 

Psalm 91  

Dream Maker, Our Redeemer

     The other day I was reflecting on what the Lord has done in our life over the last almost twelve years. I was reminded of my last year of high school and some of the people who were a part of my life and classmates I had during that time. It is amazing to think of all of the dreams that I had as a high school student and how with time those dreams have changed from what they were. Sometimes our lives may even have gone in a completely other direction than we ever thought possible. One of my teachers, Miss Nelson was such a great teacher and did such an amazing job preparing my class for "real life." I was a part of this program called I.C.E. You go to school a few class periods and then go to I.C.E class and then you go to a job that will help you acquire some of the skills you want to have in your long term career. I have so many fond memories of my classmates. My high school year as I prepared and really wanted to be a part of I.C.E I remember my teacher Miss Nelson interviewing me and as she helped me work on my resume later she asked what she could do to help prepare me for my future. She was one of the first people I told of my dream of one day building an orphanage and helping kids feel like they were part of a family. Even though my future looked a little different than most high school kids (preparing to get married, heading to Bible College vs a trade or career school) she encouraged me to pursue my dreams even if they didn't look like every one else's long term goals. 


     As I was reflecting and sharing this week I was reminded that we all have dreams deep within our hearts. These dreams they are placed in our hearts by God. These dreams may come about different than we ever think. Maybe our plans didn't go at all like we thought they would. A lot of times this is exactly the case. Sometimes I think God likes to do this to show us that really it is His plan even when we like to claim them as our dreams. They are really His dreams. Of course we have free will in the mix of all that too. Ultimately though even in the situations he doesn't want to happen in our life he uses even them for good. We may not always see that until we look back after many years.


     We later became parents and at the time had three children, we felt like the Lord was leading us to adopt. Long story short we were licensed to foster to adopt. At first I was pretty clear about not being willing to foster. I didn't think I could handle loving on children just to let them go home. I refused. To make another long story short pretty much God had another plan. We did foster. It sucked but was the best thing we ever did all at the same time. The kids we had in our home changed and impacted my life more than I could have ever hoped to impact theirs. I think God knew I wouldn't have been willing to just foster if he wouldn't have just laid it in our laps. It's funny how that happens in life. I think that if I would have known what I do now about how kids develop, how attachment works, I would never have had a dream to build an orphanage. Which is really just an institution which holds a bunch of kids. I think my dream would have been to see every child in home. Every child have a family. Every child be loved and cherished just like my kids have been in a family unit.


     When we went to Zambia for the first time in 2013 we walked into an orphanage; and my heart broke. As a mama who had four children and who had fostered and loved and let go. As a mama who had seen and celebrated each and every milestone for my kiddos. From their very first smile, their first tooth, their first steps and first words. To know that these babies didn't have a mama to adore them; broke my heart. I looked around and I thought, "God how can I even help." There were SO many babies; an entire room full of cribs with babies lining the walls laying still. Most of them were awake. I was amazed at how quiet they all were. Yet not amazed at all. Because I had worked with foster children and had children in my home that I loved with my very arms who had been so extremely abused and neglected that I knew the only reason these babies were laying so still is because they had cried and cried and cried and not had their needs met. They learned that no matter how much they cried that it wouldn't matter. SO they learned to lay still and self soothe. Some through thumb sucking, some through pulling out their own hair; some through other ways. My heart broke. I realized then that my dream would never be to build an orphanage. That it would be to make sure kids stay with their families and if that was't possible to be a part of a ministry or organization that builds children's homes with house parents. Where the kids may not be adopted on paper be raised in a family like atmosphere where they are a part of a family. My heart was to help the ones he puts in front of me even if I couldn't change the world or help every single orphan in the world. To help keep kids in families that is his very first design and if that isn't possible to care for His kids.

     When we left Zambia we knew that we couldn't see what we had seen and not be responsible to act. We had read about statistics and heard children's stories. Seeing these kids and holding them in my arms it all became much more than a statistic. We fed kids every day that literally that was their only daily meal. Most didn't have an opportunity to go to school and get even their one meal a day. In Zambia there are no government programs to feed kids. Most of all we had a confirmation that this was exactly where God wanted us for the next season.


     Every circumstance we walk through is for a reason and I can tell you that all the experience we had fostering as well as in training have well prepared us to work with this ministry. We are working with a ministry that believes in everything that we do. Whose first priority is to holistically care for the kids in front of them and to show them the hope they have in Jesus and to train them up in the ways of the Lord. Brandon has the ability to teach mechanics and as the older kids are aging out they are ending up back on the streets with no real trade or skill and some even committing suicide. We want to help prepare them for their future.


     Over the last few weeks the Lord has been continuing to prepare our hearts for the next step. He is continuing to bring people in our lives to partner with us. The gratitude that we feel it can't be explained with words.


     These dreams that the Lord has placed in both of our hearts are coming to reality. We want to encourage you that no matter what season of life that you are in. Whether you are a teenager and your life is just really beginning. Whether you are in the middle of your life and you wonder if these dreams he is put in side of you will ever really happen. Or whether you are at the end and you just don't feel purpose anymore. God has a purpose for your life. Do not give up on those things he has deep in your heart to do. Take steps toward those dreams. Time and money are nothing to him. Nothing is too big for the God who makes dreams and makes them happen.


    Over the last couple weeks it has been pretty inspirational not only watching God continue to provide but also for a special couple the Lord brought into our lives. God opened their eyes to something and awoke something in their hearts that called them to action. It has been awesome seeing a whole community of people helping the least of these in our own back yard. The Lord is no respecter of persons. He has desires and dreams for you to fulfill. He wants to open your eyes to a whole world in need of his love. Right before your very eyes. All it takes is a willing vessel submitting ourselves to him. People that are willing to do whatever it is that he asks. For us that is loving on kids with out a mommy and daddy. We would love more than anything to have you partner with us and be a part of something so much greater than ourselves. These kids they are worth being invested in.
Thank you for praying for our family and please know we are praying for you as well.


Serving Together,
The Fullers



We only need 29 PEOPLE/families or individuals to commit to partnering with us at $100 a month(recurring gifts)and we will be able to leave for Zambia. 
Here is where we are at:  Startup Costs: 100%! Praise the Lord!
Monthly Support Commitments: 55%!
watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4nlToxATwU

Our goal: To reach 100% in monthly commitments so that we can leave for Zambia and love on these children. 

Will you partner with us today and be a part of what God is doing in the lives of precious children who are worth investing in?   www.kidsalive.org/fuller  (select monthly)

Priorities

The average cost of a Starbucks drink is $4. Most people spend an average of $21.32 a week on COFFEE. Now I get it, can't live without our coffee!

Ask yourself. Is making a difference in the life of a child worth it to you? If it were your child. Would it be worth it? We aren't asking much. 

Filling ONE heart is about half of what you would be willing to spend on coffee in a month. 

If it's not coffee.. is it eating out? A new pair of shoes? A purse? A new appliance? Furniture? or something small like cookies but often? A bigger better newer? The list could go on and on. We spend money on what we prioritize. If we looked at our checkbooks and purchases and the way we spend our time, could we say James 1:27 is priority? Our family sponsors a little girl. Grace is just as much of a priority to our family as going to Zambia is; as feeding OUR children is. Will we stop sponsoring her when we get on the field? NO. Making sure she has an education, gets fed her one meal a day (probably the only meal she will get all day) and her needs are met IS our priority. I'm not saying this because we are anything special. ANYONE can sponsor a child. We aren't. We are just willing. Will you take tonight. Pray about it. Ask the Lord what part he's asking you to play? If you go to bed and wake up in the morning and the answer is nothing. Then okay. BUT if it's more will you be willing to be his hands and feet with us? Also to be willing to give as he asks?

88 more hearts to fill; some are financially capable of doing more than one.

Our whole family is ready to serve and we can not serve alone. We need YOU to serve with us. KAI is working to combat the devastation by caring for those most at risk- the children-with loving, holistic care and an introduction to the Gospel. Through childrens homes, care centers, medical care, schools and programs to keep kids with their families.

* 1.2 millions are orphaned by the HIV/AIDS pandemic

* Only 57% have the privilege of going to primary school

* 115 new children have Hiv/Aids infections every day

Once we went to Zambia these statistics became a reality in our life. They became NOT numbers but FACES. They are children with beautiful hearts and dreams. Who have dreams for their futures and their country. Going there and meeting some of these amazing people I call friends; changed my life for the better! Kids Alive is already there caring for orphans. They need our hands and feet. Will you make orphan care a priority? A command to care for orphans and widows and not just in your "want" category. James 1:27 is pretty clear. Or support those who are (it's the same). If you have mentioned wanting to partner with us will you not wait and start today? Will you not only share but also start partnering with us today. 

88 people giving $35 a month
62 people giving $50 a month
31 people giving $100 a month or a combo of each and we can leave!!!! Will you?

I know this isn't a popular subject.  Most people don't want to hear.  What I want to do is... tell you the difference you CAN make.  INSPIRE you to be a part of changing the world.  WE cannot change the world ourselves. We can't.  Together though, together, we can make a change.  We can help the ONE.  We can fill a need that is set before us.  What an OPPORTUNITY and privilege it is that we are ABLE to help!!!! Will you!?!? 

It's simple to start: www.kidsalive.org/fuller (select monthly)
1 heart= $35 monthly commitment
(That is only $420 a YEAR) (average people spend $1108 on coffee a year)

www.fullheartsandgrowing.blogpspot.com - to follow our journey
Join our fb group to follow our journey-
https://www.facebook.com/groups/637211529743710/

Suitcases.... and MORE.

Here we are nearing the middle of January. The Lord has provided ALL of the suitcases we need to pack and leave for Zambia. So many mixed emotions in this. EXCSTATIC..because he has provided these pieces and we can start packing!!!!!! A little sad knowing that means leaving our family. AT rest... knowing that it is ALL in his timing. This month we are "preparing for rain" and starting to pack little by little as well as ordering the last of home school curriculum that we will need while in Zambia. Thank you to everyone who has donated suitcases. What a huge blessing this is to our family. 

 The Lord has been so faithful. Even in the waiting. The long. Sometimes hard. What seems like at times endless waiting. We know He is using it for good to prepare our hearts. Even so sometimes that isn't easy. We have spent a lot of time on our knees the last month and a half. We have spent a lot of time as a family. Our family unit the Lord has strengthened and prepared. We have had some really awesome times of fellowship and time with family as well as moments of encouraging others and inviting them to be a part of something so much bigger than any of us. As we wait and still wonder how He is going to do this. The what seems impossible in providing the rest of what we need in able to leave.. We know he is working behind the scenes. These kids in Zambia. These precious lives. They are HIS. Our hearts longs to be there. Our kids are getting restless as especially the older two are feeling really ready to go. As we wait we worship, pray and allow him to use us in the present.

As I skyped with a friend this weekend she said something to me that was simple yet profound. She is on her own journey yet our journeys are so very similar. My friend mentioned that sometimes when she isn't seeing the results she wants. When she is feeling discouraged. She tells herself, "step aside." This is such a great reminder. SO over the last few days I have been telling myself that. As I've reached out to people and I feel discouraged. I've reminded myself to, "step aside." This is the Lords work. It is up to him to provide. We are only to be obedient. When we are inviting people to partner with us, when the answer is discouraging... I only have to answer to him for being obedient with asking and inviting others to be a part of the work HE is doing and then to trust him with the result. Sometimes we need to just, "step aside" and allow Him to show up and show off.

We are at the point in our journey where we are needing to be connected with people you may know who have a heart for orphan care and missions! Would you consider hosting a dinner or fundraising event on behalf of our family? We are open to just about anything at this point. Feel free to message us with ideas or how you would like to help. We are also needing individuals to talk and advocate for our family. We are continuing ourselves to meet with people and build our monthly partnership team. Do you know of a small business that you know would partner with our family?

We also have been working on tweaking our budget to lower it as much as we can. We personally other than living on savings have invested from our own savings to cover a portion of our start up costs. Please know that other than going we are JUST as invested as the work the Lord is calling us all together to do, as our monthly partners are invested. We are currently at 85% for our start up costs. Praise the Lord for HIS provision. Will you pray about joining our monthly partnership team? We need to be at 90% before we can purchase tickets. We look forward to having a leave date.

We are also thankful to those the Lord is impressing to be a part of the big picture. Investing in the lives of orphans. Of kids that need the hope of Jesus. That need to be spoken truth to. To hear they are beloved, chosen and they are HIS. Praising the Lord that HE is close to these kids. He is already there working and praising the Lord that He has called all of us together to be a part of their lives. Loving on these kids and investing in their future.


Brandon is also getting really antsy and excited to be on Zambian soil. For all of you who know Brandon you know that he loves mechanics. It's part of his passion. It will be so awesome to see how God is going to use him as the Vocational Mechanics Teacher to teach these kids a skill that they can use as they graduate and start their own lives in society. There is no doubt that the Lord has given him this talent. There is nothing more rewarding as a wife then seeing your husband doing everything the Lord has called him to do.

Please feel free to contact us if you have any questions or you would like to meet. We would love to encourage you in this season that you are in. Thank you all for serving right along side of us. We are excited to see what the coming months ahead hold.

Serving Him Together,

Brandy ( and Family)

P.S. Brandon wrote a really good update for January if you didn't receive that via email please message me your email and I'll send it to you. :)


www.kidsalive.org/fuller




****disclaimer**** I am not a very good writer. I pretty much suck at it. Please bear with me as I try my best to convey what is on my heart.