Raw

Everything in my life is forcing me to humility. I'm a pretty independent person. I don't like to ask for anything I'd much rather just work hard and figure things out ourselves. This is not the life the Lord is leading us to though. I'm thankful for those in our lives that are walking this journey with us and giving even if they don't feel they have much to give. I'm thankful they are willing to be stretched right along with us. I'm thankful that he is stretching me as well; my deepest desire is just to be like him and hold nothing back. I've had a few moments of feeling like this is the stupidest decision we've ever made, while other times feeling like it is so good to just be obedient and I'm really enjoying life at this moment. Yes this is the reality of my life right now. I feel raw and emotional, counting down the months until we are Zambia bound. It's crazy to think in seven months, yes, SEVEN, I will be saying good-bye to my friends and family. Getting my last (for three years, 36 months, 1095 days) hug from my mama which I get to see right now multiple times a day. My last sister friend date (for a long while) with one of my best friends. Last hug from my grandma and siblings and good friends I hold dear. I'm holding fast to Him knowing this crazy journey I'm on is part of his very best plan for me. Yes, I am thrilled to be on Zambian soil but I also am feeling a whirlwind of emotion about being an ocean away from those we love. He is faithful, so faithful, and through all this transition there is peace.